To Boldly Go
by PaleoSoul
Summary: Star Trek: Discovery. Immediately follows the events of Episode 9. Where is Discovery? And who is Lieutenant Ash Tyler? My take on what might happen next while we wait for the season to start up again.
1. Chapter 1

Michael awoke to the sound of alarms and forced herself upright, with some difficulty as she had been in a deep sleep. She turned and planted her feet on the ground while rubbing tired eyes. As she dropped her hands from her face, she first came to the realization that she was not in her quarters. Michael looked around the room, sparsely furnished, but cozy. Burnham also realized that she was alone. A dark blue housecoat lay draped across the back of a chair. A housecoat, she remembered, belonging to Ash Tyler, as memories from earlier that night started coming back to her.

Another visual sweep of the room showed a small table, in the far corner near the door, with two high-backed chairs. The food replicator on the wall next to the table emitted a warm blue glow in the dark room. The majority of the room was dominated by a couch, which she was currently seated upon, and across were two lounging chairs. A hallway leading off to her left must have led to the washroom and bedroom. Ash's quarters were certainly much more extravagant than the spartan room she shared with Tilly.

Michael didn't remember falling asleep. The last thing she could remember was sitting next to Lieutenant Tyler, holding his hand, as he confided in her the hardships he had endured during his months as a Klingon prisoner. She felt a deep ache in her chest as she remembered the pain in his voice and his admission that he was still haunted by the events that had transpired. Michael swallowed and pushed back those thoughts. She could process their conversation later. Right now, the alarm still blared incessantly over the intercom and she needed to get to the bridge. She quickly made her way to the door and exited Ash's quarters.

As she jogged down the hallway at a steady pace towards the lift, she saw others headed to their stations in a hurried manner such as she was. Just as she reached the lift and pressed the button, the alarm was cut off. Burnham listened for the Captain or Saru to explain over the intercom what had happened and if the crew could stand down, but the intercoms remained silent. The lift emitted a beep and the doors opened before her. She stepped in and pressed the button that would take her to the bridge. As she rode the elevator up, the intercom continued to remain silent. The lift continued its ascent before coming to a stop and heralding her arrival at the bridge with another beep, and as the doors opened, Michael took in a scene that was far more calm and quiet than she was expecting.

Captain Lorca turned in his chair as she stepped into the room.

"Ah, Burnham, how nice of you to join us," he said, before turning back to look out of the window in front of him. "We seem to have a bit of a problem," he admitted needlessly, "Do any of these stars look familiar to you?"

"Sir?" Michael asked cautiously, looking around the bridge. The remainder of the crew had their heads bowed over panels, tapping furiously. She took note of Lieutenant Tyler's presence by a panel just as he looked up at her. He was still wearing the same clothes he had on when they were talking earlier and his eyes had dark circles under them that told her he hadn't gotten much sleep. He gave her a grim smile; an acknowledgement of what had passed between them earlier, before looking back down and continuing what he had been doing. Something was off with him, Burnham thought. Maybe he was still bouncing back from the events of earlier that day… or was it yesterday already?

Commander Saru looked up from his console and stepped around it, moving closer to the Captain and Michael. "The computer's database does not recognize any of the surrounding stars," he said, waving a hand towards the window. "We appear to have landed in uncharted territory."

Michael looked out the window at the unfamiliar stars. When she had left the medical bay yesterday they were headed at a steady pace towards Starbase 46, and yet now, they weren't moving. Burnham turned to glance at the console nearest to her. It was currently 04:50. She quickly calculated how far Discovery would have traveled since they had disembarked last night, had they maintained their speed of warp 3. By her estimation, they should have been passing by Nebula IC 434. She turned back to the Captain.

"Captain, I think we're off course."

Captain Lorca looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Agreed Burnham. Not only are we off course, we appear to have ended up in uncharted space."

"What happened? Why were the warning alarms going off?"

Captain Lorca sighed tiredly. "We were attempting a jump to reach Starbase 46 when something went wrong in engineering."

"A failed jump?" Michael asked. "Is everything well with Lieutenant Stamets?"

"We're not certain. Apparently he is currently in the throes of some kind of… episode. We are awaiting an update from the Medbay."

Commander Saru stepped closer to Michael. "We are not certain how long it will be until we can figure out our location. Perhaps you should head down to engineering and help with running diagnostics on the spore drive."

Lorca nodded in agreement. "Good idea Commander. We have enough crewmates working around this problem from the bridge. Try to see if there's any damage to the drive. If we know what caused the failure, it might give us some insight into our current predicament."

"Will do Sir," Burnham said, turning to head back towards the lift.

"Oh, and Lieutenant Tyler, accompany Burnham down to engineering and see if you can't be of assistance," Lorca added.

Michael looked over at Ash as he stepped away from the console he had been working on.

"Yes Captain."

He joined Michael over by the lift doors as she pressed the button to go down. Michael looked over at Tyler, hoping to catch his eye, but his gaze remained focused ahead and his attention seemed to be somewhere else. The lift doors opened and they stepped in. Michael turned as the doors were closing and folded her hands behind her back. The doors closed and suddenly Michael found herself alone with Lieutenant Tyler, in a silence that felt heavy and somewhat uncomfortable.

Unable to take the silence any longer, Michael turned to look at Ash. He stood with his shoulders back and his gaze locked on the doors in front of them, and while he was silent, Michael thought that he had a distracted and far off look, not one of aloofness. She began to worry that the stress and trauma he had experienced the day before were still haunting him. That was a silly thought; of course he would still be upset. Michael wished she could say something to comfort him but she was inexperienced with the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sure, she had learned about it at the academy, but coming face-to-face with the repercussions of such trauma was another thing altogether, and her Vulcan upbringing had not prepared her for the delicate balance that was the human psyche. She could barely begin to comprehend the turmoil going on within her own head, how could she even begin to try and help someone else?

Ash seemed to become aware of Michael's gaze upon him and turned to meet her eyes. He could tell that she wanted to say something, her lips were slightly parted, and her eyes searched his. After another moment of silence he thought he should maybe put her out of her misery.

"I'm okay Michael," he said to reassure her, although she didn't look convinced.

He couldn't tell her what he was thinking right now. What L'Rell had said to him in the brig had both confused and infuriated him, and as he remembered her voice, speaking to him in such an intimate and familiar way, he felt a shiver of fear move up his spine.

 _Do not worry, I will never let them hurt you_.

She had spoken as if the Discovery was a place of danger, and not the safe haven that he was learning to call home.

As Michael continued to search his face for hints of his inner turmoil, Ash leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Pulling back slightly, he brought a hand up to cup the back of her neck. "Seriously Burnham, I'll be okay. Let's focus on the problem at hand," he said, turning the corner of his mouth up in what he hoped was a smile. Burnham nodded, flashing him an equally weak smile in return. Ash's hand dropped as they turned back to the doors.

Michael shot another quick glance his way before the lift doors opened and they made their way over to engineering. She had a strong feeling that Lieutenant Tyler was holding something back from her.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael and Ash stepped into engineering, noting the lack of any visible damage to the spore drive. Cadet Tilly looked up as they came in, relief visible on her face.

"Oh thank god you're here," she said, walking over to them. "I can't seem to find any trouble with the drive. As far as the computer is concerned, we are exactly where we should be." She gave them a pleading look, as if she was worried they wouldn't believe her, and fidgeted her hands in concern.

Ash placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Slow down Cadet. Tell us exactly what happened during the jump. Try to describe everything in as much detail as you can remember."

Tilly nodded and looked down at her feet, thinking. "Well, we were starting the jump as we would any other time," she began, "Doctor Culber was here overseeing the jump, with Lieutenant Stamets current condition and all…," Tilly said, her train of thought drifting.

Ash gave her shoulder a light squeeze, bringing her gaze back up. "Hey, I know it's hard but we need you to focus. How did Stamets seem?"

Tilly cocked her head to the side a little. "Well, a little spaced out I suppose but he's been different ever since he injected himself with the DNA. He was a little excited, he and Doctor Culber were talking about some vacation they wanted to take when we got to base." She looked at Burnham. "Everything was going normally, I placed the spore capsule into the drive and the jump was progressing well, until something went wrong with Lieutenant Stamets." Tilly gulped and pressed on. "It happened so fast. One second everything was great, and the next Lieutenant Stamets was on the ground and he seemed to be in some kind of… distress. He was muttering some nonsense and… his eyes, there was something wrong with his eyes," she said, pausing to compose herself. "The Doctor and one of the other technicians whisked him out of here right away. I hope he's okay. He'll be okay, right?" Tilly asked hopefully, looking back and forth between them.

Ash and Michael shared a concerned glance. Michael stepped over to the panel that operated the drive system and pulled up the systems log for the last jump. She felt Ash's presence behind her left shoulder as he came to observe. Michael scrolled down through the records from just a few minutes prior. She focused on the coordinates that had been inputted. As far as the system was concerned, the Discovery had arrived at the desired location.

"Wait, what's that?" Lieutenant Tyler asked, pointing at a line of text directly following the one she had been reading. Michael followed the path of his finger as her traced the words. She blinked and moved her head back, trying to make sense of the string of letters and numbers, roughly 20 characters in total.

"I have no idea," she said, shaking her head. "Tilly, do you know what this line here means? The one immediately following the coordinates?" Tilly came around to join them in front of the panel and Ash stepped to the side a little to offer her a closer look. Tilly read the text, mumbling the letters and numbers as she did so, before standing up straight. She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"I didn't write that code," she said with certainty, "and I've never seen any kind of coordinate system that uses values like these. If that's even what they are."

Michael nodded. "Agreed, these values appear to be nonsensical, in that, they lack a recognizable pattern and appear to be unrelated to any known orientation system used." She crossed her arms and cocked her head a little to the side. "Nonetheless, this could be important. We should take note of it and see if Lieutenant Stamets can make any sense of it."

Tyler stepped forward and pulled a PADD from a pocket of his jumpsuit to copy down the text. As he slipped the PADD back into his pocket, he turned to Michael. "We should go to the Medbay and try to talk with Lieutenant Stamets. Cadet Tilly, do you have everything under control here?"

Tilly nodded in assent. "As much as possible I suppose, given the circumstances," she said, her voice wavering slightly. "I hope Lieutenant Stamets will be okay."

Ash gave her a smile and reached up to give her arm a reassuring squeeze. "Hang in there soldier." Tilly gave him a grateful smile in return before turning and making her way over to a panel next to the spore drive.

As Michael watched her go, she felt a little envious of how easily and readily Ash was able to provide emotional support and reassurance to Tilly. He connected with others, and understood them, in a way that was still so far beyond her grasp. Of course, almost as soon as she had felt it, she reeled her train of thought in because envy was one of the more unnecessary human emotions, and logically, lead only to dissatisfaction. She had learned that lesson well, during her years of training on Vulcan, as she watched the other children grasp and master concepts that she struggled so hard with. Every night she would go home complaining about how difficult school was, after being teased by her classmates in their logical and aloof way, and every time Sarek would reproach her for letting her "emotions get in the way". She was now struggling to maintain what so many years of training had instilled.

"Burnham," Ash said, pulling her from her train of thought, "we should get going."

Michael blushed. "Right. Let's go."

The Medbay was quiet, just as engineering and the Bridge had been. It seemed everyone was still in a state of silent disbelief, almost as if time had paused while the Discovery struggled to find its bearings. At the far left corner of the room was the only occupied bed, and was currently inhabited by an unconscious Lieutenant Stamets while Doctor Culber and an aid hovered over him. As Michael and Ash entered, Culber turned to greet them with a weary and tired face that was pulled into something of a friendly smile.

"Sorry to disturb you Doc," Ash said, apologizing as they came to join them around the resting Stamets. "How's he doing?"

Doctor Culber sighed. "Honestly? We don't know yet. The white matter in his temporal lobes appears to have been reorganized in some fundamental way." He looked down at Stamets. "There's activity, but the patterns are abnormal. He was awake when we brought him here but he didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings until we attempted to scan him. At that point he became distressed and we had to sedate him."

He looked back at them with a hint of anger on his face. "I told him that there was too much risk in activating the spore drive again. His brain activity was abnormal even before the whole fiasco with the Ship of the Dead, and this time he really has pushed himself too far."

Michael, suddenly feeling uncomfortable given that she had a large part to play in that strategy, tried to divert the conversation.

"Is there any chance his…condition will reverse itself with time?" she asked, hopeful.

Culbers face slipped back into a mask of worry and fear. "There's no way to tell. Unfortunately we're all a little out of our league right now. We'll have to wait until he wakes up and take it from there."

Michael looked over at Lieutenant Stamets face. He looked peaceful as he rested. She brought her hand up to lightly place over his where it rested for a moment. Culber watched sympathetically. Ash observed with curiosity.

"I'm very sorry," she said to Doctor Culber. He nodded gratefully.

At that moment, Lieutenant Ash Tyler's comm badge beeped and Captain Lorca's voice rang out clearly.

"Lieutenant Tyler, Specialist Burnham, we need you back on the bridge. Immediately."

Ash and Michael shared a concerned look.

"Something the matter Captain?"

A moment of silence lapsed.

"We have company."


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Michael and Ash saw as they stepped onto the Bridge was a large Starship that was approaching slowly from the starboard side. Michael walked closer to the window observing the structure and shape of the vessel. Although she had never seen one of its kind, there was something familiar about it.

"Captain, shields are up," called Commander Saru from somewhere behind her.

Michael turned. "Sir, I don't think we need to prepare for a fight. They obviously aren't attempting to surprise us."

Lorca chuckled darkly. "That so? Can you explain then why they currently have their weapons locked and ready to fire? He looked over at Lieutenant Tyler. "To your post soldier."

Ash nodded once and his brow dropped as his face took on a look of intense concentration. He headed over to his panel. In that moment Michael saw the Ash that she remembered. Now he's in his element, she thought to herself. The sureness and confidence that he radiated in combat left no uncertainty that he was a soldier first, and Michael wasn't sure how she felt about the fact that in battle he seemed to be at his most comfortable. "Bringing weapons online Sir," he said, tapping away.

Michael turned back to the window to see the ship turning to face them head on. She saw it now, the sleek curve of the hull, the particle beams placed just slightly aft of the midsection. This vessel was Vulcan. She was sure of it, despite the fact that she had never seen a ship like it before.

Just as she was about to turn, Commander Saru commented that the unknown ship was hailing them. Michael stepped to the side of the room, so as not to be in the foreground.

"Accept transmission," Captain Lorca said, standing and pulling his uniform to straighten it.

The connection was made and a man, with dark hair styled in a severe haircut, came on screen. His eyebrows flared up at their ends and his eyes had distinctly sharp tips. Most definitely Vulcan.

A look of surprise passed over the man's face, so quickly it was almost imperceptible, before a cold mask slipped over it.

"Prepare to receive a boarding party," he said, skipping the preambles.

Lorca paused, no doubt as confused as the remainder of the bridge crew.

"Excuse me? And why would we do that?" he asked, perhaps a little more brusquely than he had intended, but given their current situation, quite understandable.

At this point the Vulcan was no longer able to contain his obvious confusion with their conversation. His eyebrows rose and he looked to his left at someone who was out of the camera's field of view. Lorca gave Michael a side glance, hoping that she might have some understanding, but it seemed as if there was confusion on all sides.

Then a man, human, stepped forward and moved next to the Vulcan that had been speaking. He moved wearily and observed Captain Lorca and what he could make out of the Bridge crew behind him. The man glanced back and forth, appearing to be looking for something in particular. He frowned.

"I know this may be a little hard to accept Sir, but you, and your companions are being liberated. Now please, tell your Klingon Master's to step forward, we wish to denounce them for their war crimes before we take back control of this ship."

If the crew of the Discovery had been confused before, they were now shocked into silence. Flabbergasted, looks of disbelief were passed around while Captain Lorca attempted to compose himself. His jaw worked back and forth and, for lack of any logical emotional response, appeared to be settling on angry. Michael turned to look at Ash. He felt her eyes on him and met them with an equally confused expression. His mouth was hanging open slightly and his eyes were wide. Captain Lorca, having finally found an appropriate response, took half a step forward.

"What the fuck is going on?" he said.

He had decided to become absolutely incensed by this nonsensical conversation. "This is the USS Discovery of the Federation Starfleet. I am Captain Lorca and this is my crew. The only Klingon aboard this ship is the one we currently have locked up in the Brig, so I believe you are sorely mistaken. We do not want or need your assistance at this time, thank you very much," Lorca finished, finally running out of energy to fuel his angry rant.

Another uncomfortable silence befell both parties, but this time it was the Vulcan and the man beside him that appeared to be in disbelief. Well...if a Vulcan could ever feel disbelief, Michael imagined that this is what it would look like. Captain Lorca, breathing a little heavily, awaited their response.

The man and the Vulcan exchanged a look. Something passed between them that Michael couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Captain, we are deeply sorry for the confusion," the man said apologetically," Perhaps we should talk in person. My name is Luke Saxton. Would you allow myself and Captain Turk to come aboard?"

Captain Lorca paused for a moment. "Of course. Please beam to our transporter room. I will meet you there in five."

Luke nodded. "Thank you Captain."

The transmission was cut off and the crew collectively released a sigh of relief. Michael felt tired suddenly.

Lorca turned to Commander Saru. "Commander, you have the bridge. Burnham, Tyler, you're with me."

The Captain was already headed towards the lift when Saru called out. "Sir, would you like us to turn our weapons offline?" Lorca stopped and looked out the window at the ship in front of them. He glanced at Michael before answering. "Not yet. I need some idea of what's going on here first," he said, before continuing to the lift. Michael and Ash followed at a quick pace. Just as the lift doors were closing to take them down to Deck 6, Michael heard the Captain mutter " _Klingon Master's"_ under his breath. Michael looked over at Ash and smirked, but he didn't see her. Even with his face turned slightly away from her she could see the look of fear he wore.

They exited the lift at Deck 6 and stepped into the transporter room. The technician greeted them formally as they entered the room. Captain Lorca gave the man a nod. "Two are beaming over Cadet."

"Yes Sir." The technician activated the transporter and two men materialized in the alcove.

The Vulcan, Captain Turk, was wearing a long robe of a dark yellow colour. He had his hands proffered before him and he stood with an air of indifference that was typical of his people. Luke, the man standing next to him, had sandy blonde hair and hard eyes set in a weary face. He was wearing a plain black shirt and pants, and while average height, his confident posture made him seem taller. Michael thought that this was a man who had lived a difficult life, and yet triumphed in the face of his hardship.

The two men stepped down from the transport platform and moved towards them.

Captain Lorca stepped forward to greet them. Michael and Ash flanked him on either side. "Welcome aboard gentlemen," Lorca said, shaking Luke's hand and nodding to Captain Turk. "This is Specialist Burnham and Lieutenant Tyler." He waved a hand to towards each of them in turn. "Now, please tell me what this is about."

Luke nodded. "Well Captain, I'm afraid what I am about to say may be a little difficult to understand," he said, sympathetically. His eyes shifted briefly to the transporter technician who was still standing in the corner of the room. Captain Lorca turned and followed his line of sight.

"Could you please give us the room Cadet?"

Bowing slightly, the man walked quickly to the door and exited. Luke waited until the doors closed behind him before speaking again. He looked back at Lorca, and a deep sadness seemed to overwhelm his face. Michael suddenly did not want to hear what he was about to say. She hoped that Captain Turk and Luke would apologize for bothering them, transport back their ship, and turn around and leave, but something about his expression told her that what would transpire next would be far more devastating.

Luke took a deep breath. "Captain Lorca, due to your obvious confusion and lack of knowledge of current events, I feel the need to make you aware of the fact that the Starship Discovery and her crew have been missing for 98 years, 6 months, and 17 days."


	4. Chapter 4

As Michael walked down the hallway towards Lieutenant Tyler's quarters, she looked back on the events of earlier that morning with awe and shock. After the surprising revelation from Luke, they had moved the conversation over to Captain Lorca's ready room where Commander Saru had met with them. As Michael had stood in the corner with Ash, the Commander and Lorca had discussed at length the sheer implausibility of their current predicament with Luke and Captain Turk. According to their account, almost a hundred years ago, the Discovery had just destroyed the Ship of the Dead and was headed on their way to Starbase 49 but never arrived at their destination. It was believed that the Discovery had been overtaken by Klingon vessels that had been moving quickly to intercept them. While this was the common belief, it had come to light many years later, when some confidential archives from the Starfleet database had been exposed, that a reconnaissance vessel sent to the Discovery's last known location had unveiled no evidence of a battle. A lack of debris strongly suggested that the Discovery had not been destroyed and had been classified as MIA, but to avoid questions being raised by organizations outside of Starfleet (which would inevitably lead to an unveiling of the Spore Drive and the mission of the Discovery), the public had been misled to believe that the Discovery had indeed been destroyed in battle at the hands of the Klingons.

However, even before the information leak, there were a few conspiracy theorists that claimed that the Discovery had not been destroyed, and that Starfleet was covering up something which they did not want others prying into and asking questions. A rumor had circulated that Captain Lorca was unstable, and that Admiral Cornwell was planning to relieve him of duty. Some believed that Lorca knew that he was going to be removed from his post and had fled with the Discovery. That theory was common. Captain Lorca was said to have been a madman and had become unhinged since the loss of his first crew, causing him to take unnecessary risks at the expense of his subordinates.

At this admission, which Luke divulged in an even tone, Captain Lorca gave out a mirthless laugh and commented on how time twists and distorts the truth. Luke, appearing to be still somewhat undecided on how he felt about the Captain, nodded his agreement silently.

Michael remained quiet but something about what Luke had said seemed to ring true, and it made her feel uncomfortable. From her unconventional posting on the Discovery, to the implementation of the risky strategy which had won them the battle against the Ship of the Dead, Michael wasn't quite sure herself whether Lorca truly was fit to be responsible for so many lives. She wasn't able to dwell long on that thought however, as the conversion was apparently continuing to spiral into a dark rendition of the tragic aftermath that followed the loss of the Discovery.

Despite the victory against the Ship of the Dead, the loss of the Discovery would mark the beginning of the end for Starfleet and, inevitably, Earth. Along with the missing advantage of the Spore Drive, only the first half of the algorithm for the Klingon's cloaking frequency had been transmitted before the Discovery had suddenly disappeared. In the following 45 years, Starfleet had recruited the most gifted minds the human race had to offer to work tirelessly 24/7 on completing the algorithm in an effort to try and gain an advantage that might once again turn the tides of war in their favour. These efforts proved fruitless. The war came to an end the year 2302, during which Starfleet suffered the loss of Starbase 34 along with the majority of their remaining dilithium reserves when the base had been left defenseless as the ships posted there had been diverted to aid a nearby colony. Since then, what remained of the once proud Starfleet exploration ships were now repurposed to transport humans from Earth to various work camps where they mined valuable resources and built more ships to strengthen the Klingon fleet.

At this point, Luke began to struggle to keep an even tone and pace as he spoke. Each sentence was punctuated with a longer pause as it became harder to keep his emotions in check. Michael now understood the world in which he must have lived and grown up in. The reality he knew was bleak. Michael felt tears prick her eyes in a rare physical display of human emotion. She was fairly certain that what she was feeling right now was compassion and took note that this was the second time in the last 24 hours that she had felt such a strong reaction to someone else's pain. Emotions were exhausting she realized. It was no wonder Vulcan's rejected emotional responses, they were both physically and mentally draining. As Michael thought about this, a question suddenly came to her. She stepped forward, causing the others in the room to turn and look at her, but she only had eyes for one other.

"Captain Turk. Where have the Vulcans been in all of this?" she asked with a steely gaze.

Captain Turk returned her gaze unflinchingly and with a hard emotionless mask. "The High Council has met numerous times to discuss what actions we should take and the result is always that inaction is the best option, for the preservation of Vulcan life," he said, matter-of-factly.

Michael was furious at this revelation. Despite the fact that she was fully human, her childhood had been spent on Vulcan and she still considered them to be her people. She was ashamed at their selfishness and lack of support towards a supposed ally. Captain Turk observed her reaction.

"Despite the decision of the High Council, many Vulcans feel differently on the matter. The Vulcans must support their ally's, and furthermore, the Klingons must not be allowed to become stronger. They are a volatile race and although they have ignored Vulcan so far, it seems unlikely that they won't set their sights on our people in the future, given their desire for conquest," Turk explained.

"You should not judge the Vulcan people so strongly, Michael Burnham," he said, knowingly. "The Interplanetary Liberation Party is a group venture, composed of like-minded Vulcans and free humans currently working on taking back control of the remaining Starfleet ships. The remainder of the ILP is at a safe location working on completing the cloaking algorithm as we speak."

Michael, feeling chastised, said nothing and stepped back.

"Captain Turk and his comrades have been steadfast in their support for the cause of the ILP," Luke said, speaking up on the matter.

Michael looked at him and felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw barely concealed loathing in his eyes. Dumbstruck, she finally considered how she might be remembered in history. If Captain Lorca was rumored to be a madman, she could only imagine what was said about her. As far as she knew, all of humanity considered their enslavement the result of her actions. Michael Burnham, the Mutineer.

She felt a shiver move down her spine as Luke continued to observe her the way one would an insect crushed under the weight of a boot, and forced herself to look away. She desperately hoped that the conversation would move on and was relieved when Captain Lorca, observing her discomfort and no doubt drawing the same conclusion she had, asked about the location of ILP base. Suddenly, she felt a hand slip discreetly around hers and give a reassuring squeeze. She glanced up and saw Ash looking down at her with a worried expression. Michael didn't think that such a public display of affection was appropriate but realized that it probably didn't matter anymore.

Luke said that they were not able to provide them with the coordinates, but would accompany the Discovery there. Captain Lorca had inquired about their current obligations, to which Luke insisted that this was now far more important. Captain Lorca then suggested that they set a course. He needed time to process their conversation and find a way to break the news to the remainder of the crew. Luke agreed and he and Turk had beamed back to their ship. Captain Lorca turned to the three members of his crew and dismissed them until 16:00 hours, at which point they would meet and discuss an appropriate way to inform the crew of their current situation. He then turned and quietly stood looking out the window while Saru, Tyler, and Burnham exited the room. Without speaking a word they had all went their separate ways, to their quarters where they could be alone.

Now, after fidgeting restlessly in her room for the last hour, Michael found herself drawn to Ash's quarters. While she had always been someone who preferred solitude, especially in times of crisis, she felt an inexplicable need to be close to him. She reached his door and hesitated for half a moment before knocking. Michael heard steps moving towards her before the door slowly opened and saw Ash, looking haggard and wretched, standing before her. Michael suddenly felt foolish for coming to him. He wouldn't want to see her right now, it was silly of her to come. Then, his face softened as he took in her appearance and he gave her a warm smile. "I'm glad you're here," he said, moving to the side so she could step into the room, "Come on in." He waited for her to pass by him before closing the door.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi Readers,_

 _I just wanted to say thank you for all of your wonderful reviews and feedback so far. I've got a rough plan for where I see this story headed but I'll definitely try and accommodate some of your awesome ideas._

 _Cheers._

* * *

As Ash closed the door quietly behind her, Michael took in the state of his room and she began to take note of little things that she hadn't last night. Although Ash had been a member of the crew for a number of weeks now, and had been given his quarters soon after his arrival, the room still lacked a feel of having been lived in. His living space was sparsely furnished, and the walls and tables were bare and lacked any ornamentation. Michael wondered if the emptiness of the room was the result of someone used to the orderly state of a military life, or if he subconsciously felt as if his posting on the Discovery was a short-term arrangement. She felt a painful twist in her gut at the thought of Lieutenant Tyler moving on. As she stood contemplating that terrible thought, she felt a hand gently press against the small of her back as Ash moved up beside her. The touch sent a pleasant shock down her spine. His other hand gestured towards the couch that she had been sleeping on just a few hours earlier.

"Please, take a seat," he whispered quietly in her ear. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

Michael nodded gratefully. "That sounds nice," she said, giving him a warm smile. She sat gently on the couch as Ash walked over to the replicator by the small table.

"Chamomile okay?" he asked, as he began pressing buttons on the panel.

"Yes, thank you."

Michael leaned back carefully against the cushions and watched him prepare the drinks. She was painfully reminded of last night, being here with Ash, as they had had a conversation that was more open and emotionally vulnerable than she had experienced before. Part of her was honoured that he felt comfortable enough to open up around her but she was also afraid that she was so emotionally stunted that she wouldn't be able to help him. That feeling was exacerbated by the knowledge that she knew he hadn't yet told her everything. When they had been in the elevator earlier, something had been bothering him, and she was worried that he was still holding something back, but Michael knew that now was not the time to press him.

Having replicated two chamomile teas for them, Ash slowly made his way back over to the couch while holding the two steaming mugs in front of him. Michael, having been deep in thought, jumped a little as a cup was offered to her. She looked up and saw a smirking Ash standing in front of her, waiting for her to take the mug from him.

Michael smiled shyly and took the tea. He sat down next to her, at a comfortable distance. Their knees were barely touching as they turned slightly to face each other. Ash brought his drink to his lips and took a hesitant sip of the hot liquid. He looked over smiled as he saw Michael holding her mug between both hands as she quietly blew on her tea. Having felt his eyes, Michael gazed up and saw his eyes dark with some emotion she couldn't quite place. She fidgeted under his stare.

"So, crazy day huh?" she offered, hoping to defuse the current tension she felt.

Ash gave out a chuckle and an unbelieving shake of his head. "That's an understatement." He leaned forward and placed his mug on the coffee table then propped his forearms on his knees and loosely clasped his hands together. "The crew isn't going to take the news well," he said, his voice dropping as he fell back into the events that had transpired earlier that day. "Not that anyone could blame them." He smiled wryly at her and Michael felt a warmth settle in her chest, one that she was beginning to associate with being around the Lieutenant and looking into his expressive brown eyes, as she was now. She opened her mouth to ask something, but hesitated, wondering if it would be appropriate. He looked at her questioningly. Michael quickly took a sip of her tea before placing her mug down next to his and turning back to him.

"I realized- well, I was just wondering if you have- or… had, rather…, any family back home?" she stuttered. Michael felt intrusive but she couldn't help but feel curious as she realized that she didn't know anything about Ash's life back on Earth. Did he have any siblings? Why had he decided to join Starfleet? She suddenly felt a strong urge to know everything she could about this man.

Ash shook his head sadly. "My mother was the only family I knew. She had a sister, but they weren't close and I had only met her once. After my mom died, I was alone," he paused for a moment, thinking. Michael reached out and covered his hand with hers. He looked down at where their hands were joined, his thumb reaching up to stroke hers. "It was difficult, for a time. My mother and I were close. As soon as I graduated from the academy, I headed off world. To get away I guess. I never went back to Earth. Somehow it didn't feel like home, knowing that she wasn't there anymore," he finished, sadly.

Michael watched him sympathetically. "I'm sorry," she said, feeling bad for bringing up unpleasant memories.

Ash looked back up at her. "You two would have gotten along well. My mother was a brilliant woman. She was the reason I decided to join Starfleet," he explained to her.

Michael listened intently, watching him smile sadly to himself as he reminisced.

"Before I was born, my mother studied history. She was enchanted by history's great explorers and wanted nothing more than to learn and teach and she used to tell me that there is nothing more human than the inexplicable drive to do what has never been done, and to go where no one has been before."

He stopped for a moment, lost in thought as he rubbed a thumb across her knuckles. Michael waited patiently for him to continue.

"When I was born she gave up a lot of her dreams for me. She had just finished her undergraduate studies and took a teaching degree online while I was a baby. My father wasn't in the picture," he offered, knowing she was curious but too polite to ask. Michael nodded sympathetically. "Of course, my mother would have never told me that the life we had together wasn't exactly what she had always wanted, but I could tell that she had never quite felt settled." A small smile came to his face now as he remembered a happy memory. "Every summer, when we were both off school, we would drive down to the San Francisco Fleet Yards and watch the Starships being moved or worked on. Sometimes if we were lucky we were able to see a launch." Ash paused to reach over and take a drink from his tea. Michael, surprised into remembering that the drinks were there, did the same.

"When I told my mother that I wanted to join Starfleet she was so proud," he continued, "I don't think she had envisioned me becoming a soldier though." He chuckled good-naturedly and Michael couldn't help but join him.

He stopped suddenly, a pensive and surprised look coming over him. "You know, you might be one of the only people on this ship who could still have family out there," he suggested, watching for her reaction. Michael blinked. She really hadn't considered that. Barring an injury or illness, it was true that there was a good chance that both Sarek and Spock could be alive. She wondered what it would be like to see them again, after so many years. Unable to voice an appropriate response, she nodded solemnly.

In the sudden silence, Michael began to feel a tension between them. Not an uncomfortable one- quite the opposite actually- and felt that she should probably give him some time to rest before they were back on duty. She slowly put down her mug and began to open her mouth to suggest that it was time she should be going, when something in his eyes stopped her.

"Stay," he whispered. "I don't want to be alone right now. Just lie down with me for a little while. Please?"

Michael couldn't help the blush she felt rising to her cheeks. "Okay"

He smiled gratefully and, placing his mug down, stood and offered her his hand. Standing so close to each other, she really noticed how tall he was as she came face-to-face with his chest. They moved to his room, which Michael noticed was just as sparsely furnished as the remainder of his quarters, with merely a double bed pushed against the far wall, flanked by two end tables, and a dresser to the left of it. The bed, looking immensely more comfortable than the small twin she usually slept on, was covered in a dark grey duvet. While the room lacked any personal features, there was still something undeniably masculine about it.

"Computer, set an alarm for 15:30 hours," Ash declared, walking around to the left side of the bed and placing his padd on the bedside table. The computer affirmed his order.

Michael sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully removed her shoes before moving up towards the headboard and laying back. As she felt the other side of the bed dip under the weight of another body, she rolled to her side to face him. He did the same, so they could face each other, and he brought a hand across to hold hers where it lay on the bed. Michael thought that she would feel far more uncomfortable, laying here with him like this, but she instead felt far more at ease than she had all day. She was surprised, given her lack of experience with intimacy. Her experience was limited to two short relationships that she had had in the academy, neither of which had meant much more than mutual satisfaction. Michael, having never had the chance on Vulcan due to the taboo against human-vulcan partnerships, felt a desire to experiment when she entered the academy when she found herself suddenly surrounded by eligible human males. The first relationship had begun shortly after she started at the academy, with a Russian-born cadet that she had met in a military tactics class. He was bright and ambitious, and having learned of her upbringing on Vulcan, had questioned her about what the planet and people were like. When she had admitted her lack of experience with sexual relationships, he had suggested that they could learn from one another, and he had said it in such logical terms that Michael was happy to agree. Over time though, when he began to feel an attachment to her, while she obviously lacked any desire or ability to form an emotional connection, he became bored and they slowly drifted apart. Her second relationship had ended on similar terms, and Michael began to feel as if there was probably something fundamentally wrong with her. While not for lack of effort, she didn't seem to be able to connect with men on a level any deeper than physically, and since leaving the academy, she hadn't had any opportunity to try again given her status of power on the Shenzhou and then her status as a mutineer after the Battle at the Binary Stars. Despite her acceptance long ago that there was something fundamentally wrong with her and that she would live a life of solitude, she now found herself feeling a pull towards Lieutenant Tyler that she could not explain.

Although it felt wrong, she couldn't help but wonder if it was because he too was broken.

Chastising herself, she looked into his eyes, deep pools that were filled with an emotion that reflected her own, and regretted having such a despicable thought. He smiled weakly before closing his eyes. Michael could see the exhaustion on his face and hoped that he would be able to get some sleep. She watched him for a moment longer, observing the way the crease between his eyebrows loosened as he relaxed, before she too closed her eyes and joined him in unconsciousness.


End file.
